[Cro Dreoilin] "Shoulds"

[Greyhart]

I think what both Sue and Katie are trying to get across, is that it is
better to honor, worship, follow, whatever, the Gods who call you, rather
than the God(s) your family expect(s) you to. I may be wrong on that, but
that's what I'm getting from their posts.

Greyhart

-----Original Message-----
From: community-bounces at crodreoilin.org
[mailto:community-bounces at crodreoilin.org] On Behalf Of Kelley Forbes
Sent: Friday, November 25, 2011 12:01 PM
To: community at crodreoilin.org
Cc: Kelley Forbes
Subject: Re: [Cro Dreoilin] "Shoulds"

I think wanting to do something is, truly, very important; it is, however,
only peripherally related to what I was saying.

There are different parts that "wanting" can play when we are talking about
living up to our values. We can want something physically or emotionally or
mentally or spiritually/philosophically.  Sometimes those different wants
can come into conflict.  We can, for instance, choose to do something we
would otherwise not want to do, because we also want to live up a certain
set of values.

The crux of it is that, even in this situation, we need to be able to say
what value or values we are living up to.  When we are specifically dealing
with aesthetic wants and choices, if we find ourselves substituting the
"because it will ..." phrase with " ... because I want to," too often, it
can be an indication that we are masking moralistic behavior.  In this case,
"wanting" can mean the internalization of societal norms to the point that
we can't separate our own choice from what we have been brought up to
believe is true.


-- Kelley.


Katie Murphy wrote:
> I like what Sue said about this. I think that doing something out of 
> obligation isn't as meaningful as doing something because you WANT to.
>
> --Katie
>
> On Sun, Nov 20, 2011 at 3:21 PM, sue blackmore 
> <sblackmore1966 at gmail.com <mailto:sblackmore1966 at gmail.com>> wrote:
>
>     It has been said that the best reason to do anything is because we
>     want to. So we say please, step out of our comfort zone and
>     venerate our gods not because we should or its polite or the gods
>     need it but because we want to.
>
>     On Nov 20, 2011 3:08 PM, "Charlotte Blackwood"
>     <charlotte.blackwood at gmail.com
>     <mailto:charlotte.blackwood at gmail.com>> wrote:
>
>         You are so cool :)  Thanks for that email :)
>
>         On 11/20/11, Kelley Forbes <forbesk at astronomytower.net
>         <mailto:forbesk at astronomytower.net>> wrote:
>         > One interesting thing this topic of "needs" has me thinking
>         about is the
>         > place that "shoulds" have in our religion.
>         >
>         > In a values-based aesthetic, there are no independent
>         "should" actions
>         > or rules; there are no "thou shalts" or "thou shalt nots".
>         Every time
>         > you think of yourself as "having to" or "must" or "should
>         do", then you
>         > should be able to complete the phrase "because it will ____".
>         >
>         >
>         > "I should open the door, because it is hospitable to do so."
>         >
>         > "I should say 'please', because I am acknowledging the right
>         of the
>         > person to say no, and that builds independence and community."
>         >
>         > "I should step out of my comfort zone, because it is
>         courageous."
>         >
>         >
>         > If you catch yourself having a bunch of "should" thoughts
>         and not being
>         > able to complete that sentence, then you need to ask
>         yourself what
>         > ethics you are caring around with you that are someone
>         else's rules,
>         > most likely picked up from our decidedly moral-based culture.
>         >
>         >
>         > -- Kelley.
>         >
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> --
> "We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we 
> bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet. "
> ~Rita Rudner
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